Nov 2005

Raindrops fell...
by missP on Tue Nov 01, 2005 10:50 am
Raindrops fell, thoughts swirling inside her head, she asked herself: “why?”

The storm finally subsided and the little tired girl slowly crept into slumber. What will happen tomorrow, no one knows. Not even the rats, bugs or strayed cats & dogs hiding in the corner of the shanties where she decided to stay for the night knows. Not a single living thing would know. Perhaps there will be sunshine, perhaps the bright clouds will bring with it some hope. But, who knows. For now, she sleeps. Rests herself from the long journey that seems at the time being to be endless and worthless. Cold, hunger and exhaustion will just have to be forgotten. Whatever she may encounter tomorrow or the next day, she will just lift them all to the Lord. Like she has always done before. It can only be so.
Flohmarkt . . .
by missP on Tue Nov 01, 2005 3:31 pm
Flohmarkt in Germany, brocante in Belgium and some sort of Tiangge-cum-garage sale for us in the Philippines, although pwede na rin ang term na "ukay-ukay".

My birthday was a three day celebration of some sort. We drove to Belgium on the evening of Thursday. Friday morning was for shopping all that was necessary to prepare for the Sunday lunch that my sisters had arranged earlier with some relatives & friends. The afternoon till late evening was spent catching up on the news about old friends, eating and drinking with the regular karaoke session of course. Updates on how we are doing, news about the philippines, about relatives and friends were discussed and finally ended up at around 12.30 midnight.

The regular visit to the weekend market in Brussels, very popular only to foreigners was set for Saturday morning. There we could get fresh meat and vegetables at very, very good price. AS the menu is already set,
we knew what exactly to get and where to find them, so, it didn't take us so long to shop for the necessary ingredients. Afterwards, we spent a couple of hours more just looking around whatever cheaps we could find. Of course, none of what we bought on top are important. They are just cheap and available, so we had to get them, hehehe.

At 9 a.m. Sunday morning, my BIL surprised us all by anouncing that there are already a lot of people in the street right in front of my sisters' house. We completely forgot that there was a "brocante" in the area today. I woke hubby up briskly to ask where he left the car, since the main street was closed to traffic because of the event. No cars were allowed to be along the main street. If it's still there, the commune would tow the car away and this could take several hours to settle. Luckily, where he left the car was not intended for the sellers. So, the car was safe.

Brocante is actually some sort of garage sale. Theoretically, brocante would be the time when residents are allowed to sell old products like clothes and trinkets in their house that they don't use anymore. Or, if for example you want to buy new furnitures, you can get rid of your old stuff by selling them at a brocante. But, some people have made a carreer out of it. They do nothing else but register and watch out for every brocante events in the whole region and sell stuff there, not just old but new ones as well as handmade/handycrafts. MOstly selling are the Gypsies,
the old folks and every now and then a family who maybe trying to get rid of all the old toys and rundown clothes.

It is actually fun. Only in this time can one bargain or haggle for the price of a particular thing that a person wants to buy. Although in the Philippines this may be normal, here in Europe it's not. I think some of them are even embarrassed if they encounter such a scene. If only I could do this everytime I go to buy groceries or materials that i need. BUt, I digress.

So, after doing the last minute preparations for the lunch, me, hubby and the kids of my sisters wrapped ourselves in our comfy jackets and
decided to join the throng of people outdoors. We slowly walked down the road with the others who are still just checking the offers or are already haggling with the sellers.

There were some booths where they sold only old books and classic films. Hubby and I got stuck there for a while. BUt not long enough, since the kids started to do a chorus of: "we want to go to the park instead." After sometime, I gave up and told hubby we should just meet again after some minutes. I couldn't stand the constant reminder of "when do we go to the park?" or "can we go now to the park" from the two midgets. I love them, don't get me wrong, but sometimes, they can get to my nerves as well.

On our way back to the house, we met some of our visitors along the streets also bargaining for an old vase, a lamp or a picture frame. Kaka aliw talaga!

Another thing I like about brocante is that I tend to make up stories for the people and their wares sold there. It has become some sort of a game. You see their stuff on sale, and you think, "hmmm... now, why would he want to sell that thing away?" Can it be because the person selling it has just gone through bad case of divorce and family feud over their conjugal properties, they would rather sell of the appliances that would remind them of the disaster? Or can it be because, the person's partner or just passed away?" The brain really works wonders. You could just imagine all kinds of stories about them. Sometimes, it even helps me decide if I would buy a certain item from them. Shallow? WEll, maybe so. but the heck!!!

Lunch was by the way, great, thanks to my two sisters who are superb cooks.
Torn & Confused
by missP on Fri Nov 04, 2005 10:48 am
Last October 14, I was interviewed for another position in a company that operates at the airport. The following Monday, Oct. 17th, I was asked to come back and sign the contract that they prepared for me. It is a good deal, I think. The only thing is, I will be doing something that I am not very keen to do for the time being, (probably for a month or so) until I finish the trainings necessary for the job I am contracted to do. Okay, the pay is not so good, but they have more fringe benefits than the previous company I worked for.

The thing is I just got a call from another employer. I am offered higher compensation plus extra benefits and I have only one boss to report to. No need for uniforms or necessary trainings to do. The job is not stressful, definitely not glamorous. But the thing is, I am offered to work part time, with fixed hours, weekends free and a better pay. The deal is, I should and must do this only for a year, tops. Then, I would have to start looking for another more serious job because I don’t see a future for me in it. The long term result is for me a very big factor. I want to do something now that I can use as a foundation for when we would decide to finally move back to the Philippines.

Actually, if I listen to myself, I am almost convinced that I would rather like to the second offer. But I am not sure if this is the right decision. A voice inside my head keeps saying that I am letting go of an opportunity wherein I am given the chance to develop/improve my know-how. Deep inside, there is a voice that is bugging me the truth. “That I am shying away from a bigger responsibility. That I am being lazy and irresponsible if I take the second offer”.

Good thing I still have the weekend to think it over. I can go to the other company and talk to the manager again. See if they can expedite things up for my trainings and stuff maybe even move me up to the just vacated slot of another colleague. But if he says NO, then I will take the offer of the other employer. Hehe, sounds like I am just looking for an excuse, an alibi that I can always say to others if asked why I took the job with a very foggy future in it.

On the other hand, I think I also need some rest from the stressful job that I was doing during the last two years. I need a break this time. It doesn’t have to be forever. It will only be for the time being. Am I trying to convince myself? Shamefully, I am guilty.

Oh, excuse me, I am not ranting. I am sort of thinking out loud… to make the records straight! Wink

Right now, I am feeling dizzy bouncenburn bagged all at the same time.
both sides now - Joni Mitchell
by missP on Sat Nov 05, 2005 2:35 pm

Rows and flows of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons ev’rywhere
I’ve looked at clouds that way

But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on ev’ryone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way
I’ve looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It’s cloud illusions I recall
I really don’t know clouds at all

Moons and junes and ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As ev’ry fairy tale comes real
I’ve looked at love that way

But now it’s just another show
You leave ’em laughing when you go
And if you care, don’t let them know
Don’t give yourself away

I’ve looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It’s love’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know love at all
Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say I love you right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I’ve looked at life that way

But now old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads, they say I’ve changed
Well something’s lost, but something’s gained
In living ev’ry day

I’ve looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It’s life’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know life at all

I’ve looked at life from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It’s life’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know life at all

meme-ry game... an excerpt from your old entry
by missP on Sat Nov 12, 2005 1:58 pm
I posted this Dream Analysis last April 17, 2004. The rule of the meme is quite simple: If the last letter of your first name is a vowel (Hannahlou) and the last letter of your family name is an “O” (Bendijo), you’re a fan of Startrek, Stargate, and Andromeda. Or if you watch every series of Friends, then you can meme yourself.

Here goes:

This is the 5th line of my 23rd post. Interesting actually, to go back and read about yourself or what you wrote many months ago.

”…reading and the interpretation of dreams is one big responsibility. It can harm people. It can even ruin lives. The interpreter is responsible to be discreet about what he/she sees in the cards and in the palm.”

The last letter of my family name is not an "O". But i qualify in the 3 next criteria, so what the heck!!!
nag apply, nag resign at nag apply ulit!
by missP on Wed Nov 16, 2005 5:17 pm
Ano ba yan???

It’s been like forever and this blog is crying for redo and updates. Hayyy! Kaawa-awa naman itong blog na ito. I was quite sure I would have more time now, but apparently I was wrong.

October came and left and I thought I would be jobless by now. It seems not to be true. By October 17, I found myself signing a contract with another external company at the airport. It was not planned but, at the spur of the moment, I just went and dropped my application form in. Before I knew it, I was sitting at their reception area waiting to be interviewed. Some days later, I got another invitation from the head of the Personal Services Dept. asking me to drop by at their office again. I did and before I knew it, I found myself signing the contract that they offered me…but not only after I bargained with them about the salary. I can’t believe low they are offering to the jobseekers. Can anybody of you work for 5 € per hour? Well, no, that’s not what he offered me, but I heard that some companies really do pay 5€ and even 1€ per hour. Amazing! I was lucky with the first job because they paid much more than the mentioned rate. Yes, I am just a lowly “paid by the hour” employee. I don’t work in a posh office where I fight everyday for my right to be heard and noticed by the big corporate colleagues. I’d rather be swallowed down by a shark. But I think it’s the same feeling, so, *shrug*.

Then, after working three days with the company, I handed in my resignation because of two reasons. First was, I told them that I felt it was probably a mistake to be in the company coz I felt that the people who are already working there are not happy at all with what they are doing. Second reason was, somebody offered me better working conditions plus better pay. The only thing was in the second offer, I couldn’t imagine myself advancing in whichever area available, because there was simply none. I would be stuck doing that job for the rest of my life. I couldn’t bear it. But, whatever made me reason so impulsively, I have no idea. Perhaps it was my irregular hormones acting up again, because two days later, I took the resignation back. It’s not a good start at all, but what the heck. I will just try to prove myself worthy to them now. Unfortunately, this is easier said 8or written down) than done.

So, I joined the company, resigned after a couple of days and applied to them again. Well, the thing was, after I gave in my resignation letter, I had to give the company two weeks notice before they could let go of me. So, I was not really officially free yet. And since then, I have been quite busy with trainings. It’s not that I didn’t achieve anything when I handed over that resignation. On the other hand, I did. What was promised to me came faster than I thought they would be given. The only sad part is, that I have to work extra hard now to prove to them that I am worthy of the second chance given to me. Suspect long duty hours and showing own initiative, creativity and no fights with colleagues ( at least for now) would help. Hmmmm, oder?
:cry: :cry: !!!
by missP on Thu Nov 17, 2005 9:23 am
bouncenburn bouncenburn

My fingers are sore from learning to play the guitar. They’re warm and swollen and they hurt like hell. It has been a while. My father taught me how to play the guitar years ago, being a professional guitarist himself, but I was never patient enough, hence, I never learned. Regrets???? Yes, big time!

For now, i have to sweat and learn...and have to disregard what my stenography and typing teacher Ms, villafranca taught me, "to type using all ten fingers and not just with one or two". Imagine me typing using only my pinkies and thumbs. BUwahahhahaaha!

And all these for what? Just so I can play "jamaica farewell" and "country roads"... well, At least I am learning. I can indeed play the two songs now, but I actually want to do my own version of "Both Sides Now".

Hayyy, kelan pa kaya yun?

bash bash
Have fun with Jane & Bebot
by missP on Sat Nov 19, 2005 12:49 pm
We used to work together. They thought me all that I was supposed to do and not do there. They watched over me in the company. They fed me on days when I didn’t bring ba-on with me. They cook me some Filipino cuisines that I cannot do on my own and even taught me how to prepare the ones that are easy enough. After the company closed down, we saw each other like once, but talked a lot on the phone. The chats were constant, almost every other day.

Now, my new found hobby brings me to visit ex-colleagues. Both Filipinas, almost around the same age as my parents and both takes care of me like I am their daughter. They also started to teach me how to play the guitar. They have been very encouraging and supportive of me. When I was like in a crossroads, they were there to give me advice. They make life seem easy and enjoyable, new tasks are all do-able, they say. But, believe me, when you don’t have the talent for it, nothing is easy. Thank God for friends like these two. They are Angels sent in disguise to watch over me and I am very thankful to have found them.

Tag-down the memory lane
by missP on Tue Nov 22, 2005 12:12 pm
Sometimes, well, okay I admit, MOST TIMES I do reminisce about my past. What happened when, who I met where, etc. I mostly recollect those things during my pre/post depression phase. During the depression time itself, I don’t think about all these things, I just wallow myself in sadness… for no true and apparent reason. Why so? I don’t know. I’m clueless on the matter. This time, being tagged by the Mega-mama-Stina – I oblige. Anyway, it is almost wintertime which means I would in any case be into the “depression” phase again.


I was in between jobs. I just resigned from DFP and was having a rocky relationship with a med-rep. Never trust a medical-representative, I tell you! I was so na?ve and so in-love then. I was leaving on an empty dream and false promises. I may not have been the smartest then, but I can always say that I surpassed that stage in my life with flying colors. Go ahead, tanungin niyo magulang ko, hahahaha.


I was in Belgium, living a new life as the missus to ML. Moving to a new country can be very difficult and tiring. I spent most of my time going from ministry to ministry to do all the registration stuff, fixing DL’s, attending to most of the paper work for our stay in Belgium starting from cable TV to house & life Insurance. It was also during this time that hubby and I went into Day-Trading. This was also the reason why I had to stay at home. It was very stressful, very time consuming but very much financially rewarding and well worth every minute experience wise.


I was torn between going back to the day-trading business or continue working as a lowly employee that gets all the crap from the very arrogant and stupid passengers at the airport. Feeling stagnated, tired and sick from living in a cold place and missing my home country big time!


Having off day from work, I thought I should start putting out my Christmas decorations at home. As I took the stuff out carefully checking if everything was still in good condition and usable, I realized that some of the decors are either broken or doesn’t have a partner anymore. The thing with being a Libran is that I have to have everything in pairs. It should all be well balanced. Something that even hubby is finding weird if I have to buy two bars of soap for one toilet.


As I sit in front of my PC with every intention of bloghopping but no intention of updating, I found myself being tagged by Megastina. I couldn’t resist it. So, I went to get my bag of chips, a jar of crispy mini-chocolate bars and started recalling my past. I’m glad I did. I have the feeling that at the end of these recollections I always have a sense of fulfillment. It makes me more energetic in life. It gives me a renewed sense of will to live and accomplish more than what I have done so far. It makes me realize my mistakes, correct them and it prevents me from doing the same mistake twice. I’m optimistic that I will have much better life if not now, then in my next one.


I have off again tomorrow and I thought that I would finish putting up the decorations. Those that don’t have a pair anymore will have to go. I plan to replace them with the new ones I bought yesterday. Then I continue with my guitar lessons and learn a new song, perhaps two.

Tag anyone?!
Again, if you please, go ask for your reward somewhere else!
by missP on Thu Nov 24, 2005 11:39 am
I was called in to work yesterday and thought I could still put off with the decorations at home, I said yes to my VOP and said would be at the airport within the hour.

The experience that one gets from dealing with different types of people, at the airport, both character wise and by their Nationality is quite extraordinary. Like snow (which for me, until now is an amazing wonder) I still drop my jaw dead each time I hear or see something weird at the workplace. But what I realized is that, what can seem to me weird could be quite normal for others, so I have to leave it as it is. But I honestly cannot stomach some attitude of people. One example if I may refer to my reward entry. A similar thing happened to me again. I was assisting a mother and daughter who just got off from a flight when suddenly a man came to me holding out what seemed to be like a set of eyeglasses in a green quilted case. The object looked quite dilapidated and may have seen better days, which means that those glasses may have been the most important piece of property that the owner has.

Anyway, this man came to me, cursing and head scratching and said, “Hey miss, I found this on the way out. Here (as he handed over the item to me) take it“ grunting, as if it was such a big bother to him that he happened to see the item on the floor just on his way out of the cabin. Then, he asked: "where's my finder’s salary?” I was shocked! I looked at him straight in the eye and told him that if he wants the reward, he should look for the owner of the eyeglasses himself and ask for the reward from that person and not from me. He then replied arrogantly with: “but you work here. Don’t you people do your jobs?” Hello???, if I found the thing myself, as an employee, I am required to surrender it to the proper authorized personnel responsible for lost & found items. I would not be bothering people for a finder’s fee. Apparently, he has never heard of the “Lost & Found” office. The nerve of that man, asking for the “reward” for the eyeglasses, which probably cost like 5 measly bucks!!!

In the end, the man grabbed the item from me, mumbling something about giving the item up to somebody who knows how to do their job. What job? Was I supposed to give him the reward myself? I could have accepted the item from him naturally and could have told him that if he wanted the finder’s fee badly, he should just write down his name, address and telephone number, perhaps also a bank connection, where the respected owner of the eyeglasses could send his “thank yours” in monetary form, if need be. I could have promised him, that once the owner is notified of the lost item, the owner would eventually contact him and finally settle with him what has to be settled.

I didn’t. No, I actually, I refuse to do something like that. It is simply against my principles. I said it again, and would repeat it all the time, take the risk of sounding redundant. I think it is totally f*****g unbelievable! Why I always get into these situations, I ask myself. Somehow, I have a feeling that some cosmic force is sort of testing me. Putting me in such situations and watches over how I would react to other's stupidity. What the heck! So far, work has been taking most of my time away from home, friends and from blogging. Working in a place that operates 24/7 is really fun, difficult and time consuming and to top it all, a real challenge. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining. Methinks life at home can really become dull once you get used to the busy conundrums of the airport.
try the A, then the D and... oops!
by missP on Mon Nov 28, 2005 8:30 pm
Going through the chords of “Those were the Days” for the third or perhaps fourth time last Friday morning, my ever number one fan came into the room to tell me that something didn’t sound right with the latest song that I am trying to play. Of course, it would not sound right, dummy… I am no expert yet. Have you forgotten that I am still learning to play the guitar?!

“No, no, that’s not what I mean”, he said apologetically. “It could be your strings”.

“Yeah right, and the fingers have a little something to do with it too” I replied.

“Nope, try to adjust your D string because it doesn’t sound right” he said again.

“okay, fine!” As I tried to tune the guitar again, he waited and listened and made some nodding gestures, telling me that the sound was getting better. But apparently not the D-string.

“Too low,” he said. “Try it again. And again and some more…” until… suddenly, there was a long thoingggggg! The string broke! Bad luck, I didn’t have a spare. Worst was, I didn’t even know where to go and get them.

(“ayan, paki-alamero ka kasi!”)

Darn!!! Oh well, might as well take it as a sign that I need to take a rest from practice during the weekend. I am sure the neighbors would be very happy to have peace and quite again in the building. Not that they are not noisy themselves, but they are just not used to hearing the early ear-breaking strumming that I make each morning at 9. Then, I have to check out the net, where I can get the darn extra strings. Might as well get more than what I broke, just in case the incident recurs again. One can never tell. I think the more strings I break, the better I am becoming at playing the guitar. Of course, this is only my opinion. blackteeth blackteeth blackteeth
Ang kulit!
by missP on Tue Nov 29, 2005 2:08 am
On our way home from visiting the IL’s, we passed by several mountains/bergs which were fully covered with fresh snow, white feathery, fluffy winter flakes were yet, still falling. Fully aware at how I am still very much amazed by snow, started to tease me…actually baiting me into getting out of the warm comforts of the car and frolic in the snow.

“Will you need winter photos?”

“Uhhmmm…I don’t think so.”

“Why not? Aren’t you going to write something about snow? Or wintertime?”

“Nope, seasonal entries are getting overrated.”

“But you should! . . . Okay, let me know when you need them.”


“Hey, maybe you’ll need them for summer next year?”


“Just thought, when it gets too warm, you would write an entry about how you wish it was wintertime.”

“But, I am sure even if it gets warm, I will not miss winter”, I replied, this time sounding a bit agitated.

“Oh, okay. I thought you might!”

Pause again…

“Well, just let me know, if you need them. We can stop any time and take some new photos if you want.” ... he said finally with that silly grin on his face.

“Ano pa nga po ba ang magagawa ni Lola? HIninto ang kotse, bumaba at nagdasal. Huwag niyo po sanang pabayaang mag dilim ang paningin ko sa kakulitan ng mamang maputla na ito!"