December 23, 2004

Doctor's call.

Today, like yesterday, I was not able to go to work again. I have not been feeling well these last few days. Truthfully, I am confused if the sickness is caused by: the holiday bug, winter-depression fever or if this is another viral infection somewhere inside my body. I went to the doctor the other day, but apparently, my doctor thinks it is not really serious and therefore did not give me a sick slip or "stay at home" slip. He took blood samples though, all five vials and then told me that I should have an x-ray for the back pains that I have been suffering from for ages. The appointment for the x-ray was for yesterday, but I was feeling so weak that I just called the clinic and had it re-scheduled. I got one, after the holidays, which is on the third of January. Fine!

I stayed all day at home, vegetated a little in front of the computer, but most of the time, I was just in bed, resting. Still, I didn't feel better. When I woke up this morning, I still felt very weak that I decided to stay at home again. At around noontime, the assistant of my doctor called me and asked me to come to the clinic to discuss the result of my blood tests. She also said that I have to undergo ultrasound. For what, I don't know. I didn't bother to ask. Actually, I am more afraid of the result of the blood test. If my memory serves me right, after I had Bel Palsy which was caused by a virus that I got in Malaysia, my previous Doctor in Belgium told me that there is a possibility that it may re-occur again.

Ngekkk! OMG! I think now, I am slowly panicking....okay, deep breath, and another, and again another!

Well, I hope this is nothing like it. I will not think about it anymore. I refuse to think about it! Nyaaaaa! Nakakabaliw!

Posted by missP at 01:51 PM

December 01, 2004

Birthday & Bonding Blues...

My weekend was spent in Thüringen with my in-laws. It was the 70th birthday of my Mom-in-Law, so almost every member of the family, from the sister, to the cousins, nephews & nieces and their husbands and wives were there as well.

If this get-together with the whole clan happened four years ago, I would have probably, politely excused myself from going there. I didn't want to just smile and sit or stand like a statue just because I couldn't communicate with the rest of the members of the family. But I am so glad it didn't happen then...Besides, my mom-in-law could not have celebrated her 70th birthday four years earlier, right? (hehehe, trying my luck at jokes, which I am quite aware didn't work anyway!)

So off we went to this stadt called Gräfenthal, in Thüringen.


Graefenthal3.jpg

Okay, I know this is supposed to be the birthday celebration entry for my Mom-in-Law, but since I would probably just say, we celebrated it with lots of food, dancing, program, etc., i would rather write more about the bonding which had definitely much impact during the weekend. It's not that I don't like my mom-in-law as much, or that we don't have this bonding time as well. It's just that, I have had much more time talking to her alone than I had with my dad-in-law in the past. Even before I could speak German language, because she can speak English. So here it goes:

When I came to Germany, the first time I met ML's family, it seemed to me that I was ok, not knowing their language, not only because they all tried to speak English to me but also because I didn't consider that we would be living in the same country where his family is. (Tagalog translation: "Hindi naman kami dito sa Alemanlandiya nakatira, so para ano pa na matutnan ko ang salita nila?") My only worry was that my father-in-law can't speak English. So, he would try to say something, and then everybody else who are in the vicinity would try to translate it to me....seeing that I am not amused at his comment which is supposed to be amusing, he then would suddenly just fall back in silence. I remember it happened quite so often that it became embarrassing for me. Silently, I made a vow to myself that I would learn the language...if not for myself, nor for my future kids but for my father-in-law who has a great sense of humor. Weakness ko kasi sa lalaki ito, dahil wala kao nito... hehehehe. Kidding aside though, my father-in-law has been sickly since many, many years back. Thirty something years ago, he was already declared by his physicians that "he would last only less than a year". Now he is seventy years old, still lives, still manages to drop jokes, still looks at life with humorous angle and still goes fishing with his fishing buddies who are still alive and still manages to go with long walks with me and hubby everytime we visit them. He is such strong and lovable person. Actually, quite a wierd choice for adjectives, but that is the only way I can describe him.

Graefenthal1.jpg Graefenthal2.jpg

When he found out that I enrolled myself to German language lessons, he tried to tell me that it will be difficult, there would be a lot of stress because not everything has an explaination and most of all, that the German language is very, very complicated. (Of course, hubby translated everything to me). That I should just concentrate on learning it and that if I have questions, that I should not hesitate to ask or give them a call anytime for me to be able to practice my very little knowledge of the German language. Before we letf their house during that visit, he made me promise him that I should be able to speak the language after ten years. Not more, coz he was not going to wait longer.

I said to him, I would learn it in five. In ten, I should be able to share jokes and anecdotes with him in his dialect, i said. I learned it in less than five years, I can understand his jokes, his stories and his advices now. Grabe! This weekend, parang nag karoon kami ng special connection, bonding, as if! Kaya for me, blessing that I now speak & know the language, that I could go with hubby to celebrate mom-in-law's birthday, because the weekend didn't turn out to be just a boring birthday celebration where most of the guests are grumpy old grannies, but a celebration of bonding for me and my father-in-law.

Posted by missP at 11:57 AM

November 29, 2004

Intermission to my travelogues.

Somehow, the days went by like a speed of lightening. Just a few months back I was still rambling about missing the Philippines, longing to go back home, what I would do there, yearning for the things and the food and the places. And then, I went. I flew in and was back in a jiffy. Of course, it was not enough, but it had to do for now. It helped me in quite a lot of ways even if it was just for a very short time. I felt relieved. Being at home gave me a sense of being reborn, being with people whom i knew and love, with old familiar faces and comforting places. It felt like Christmas. Best of all, it gave me new courage to face trials, obstacles and challenges in this foreign place that I live in now. I don't know what it is, nor can I explain what made me feel like this. I just know for sure that IT IS SO. Perhaps it is because one's real and true home is where one's family, relatives and friends are.

I remember when I was still learning the German language, we were asked to define HOME. I thought, okay this was quite easy, not thinking clearly that I have now two homes. I say this so, because my definition of home is, the place where my family and loved ones are. It is not just a flat, a building or a house where we live. To me, it is the place where I feel most comfortable and loved. A place where I feel I belong. Where I can relate and interact with the people whom I trust and vice versa. So, when I got home and started to think about what to say, I got stuck. I couldn't find anything to say simply because I am torn. My family and relatives and friends are all in the Philippines, but I didn't think about having a much more important person in my life now here with me in Germany. Having said this, it would also mean that my home is actually here in Germany, right? So, I ended up not preparing for the assignment at all. Why not? Because, although the most important person in my life right now lives here with me, I still do not feel that I belong to this place. Of course, my hubby's family is now also my family. But although they told me all the time that I belong to their family now, and even give me the reassurance every chance they get, I still feel lost and unaccepted. Not by them but by the other people that I meet and got to know here. I still feel in every place that I go to here in Germany that I am just an Ausländer, a foreigner. Especially because they make you feel this. In shops, in recreation areas, at the post office, at the bank, everywhere! They don't let you forget it for one single minute. Obtaining the nationality of the host country doesn't make one like the locals of that country as well. One becomes a "second class" citizen then, which is for me, sounding even more inferior. I can't blame them for it.

Nevertheless, I still face the challenges that I encounter everyday, may it be at work or outside. I live each day as it comes. I try to integrate myself and even show my own capabilities as an individual foreigner to show a good example to this host country so that in some ways, they may not stereotype every "Ausländer" as a parasite and a menace to the society.

My point to this is: This is now my second home. A place where my hubby and I decided to stay for the time being as a means to be able to fulfill our dreams for our future. I am thankful for the chance that I could go back to my own place that I call home where I could relax and recover from the stress and pressure that I encounter here in my second home. For some, they have to wait for ten to eleven years because they do not have the luxury of being able to go back to their loved ones anytime they want. Thus, I envy those people who can be with their family, relatives and real friends and remains to be first class citizens where they live because they can afford to live in their own country of origin, their home, their Nation, the place where their heart is!


Posted by missP at 12:53 AM

October 21, 2004

Unang araw sa Maynila

SEpt. 19, 2004

We arrived in Manila on a hot Sunday afternoon. I could hardly wait to get out of the airport and be outside in the sun. From the plane, walking along the hallway of the west wing, some employees can be seen offering sim cards and prepaid cards to load the cellphones with. Good idea nga naman especially for those balikbayan who doesn't have roaming from their host country cellphone subscription, na makaka tawag agad sila sa kanilang mahal sa buhay immediately after they get off the plane. For those naman who have Smart roaming, load away na agad para di ma-"check operator" service. Hehehe, bilib ka sa Pinoy!

We hurriedly went to fall in line at the immigration control. The lady who assisted us was not so friendly. No, talagang suplada! No smile, nothing! Pero, I guess that's how it is in their kind of job. Kung baga, trying to project the seriousness of their jobs. Okay, fine!

Finally, after we got through the lady at the immigration, I ran for a cart for the baggages, sa may conveyor area, at anong gulat ko po nang matunghayan ko na (Mga kababayan kong matagal nang hindi naka uwi sa ating bayan...) ang mga baggage carts ay libre na po! No need to prepare a dollar for the cart...hehehe, quite an improvement.

My parents were already waiting for us at the Ramp area. Thank goodness, won't have to wait again. We somehow managed to get everything into the car, and off we went to HOME SWEET HOME!!!

Posted by missP at 05:47 AM

October 20, 2004

Your Power Color Is Blue



Relationships and feelings are the most important things to you. You are empathetic and accepting - and good at avoiding conflict. If someone close to you is in pain, it makes you hurt as well. You try to heal the ones you love with your kind and open heart.

What's Your Power Color? Take This Quiz :-)

Posted by missP at 07:42 PM

October 19, 2004

Back from "Perlas ng Sinilangan"

Yes...I am definitely back from the Philippines. It was such a short visit. It was like I just got there, and all of a sudden, I have to prepare again coming back to Alemanlandiya. AS in BITIN!

Anyway, while there, I think I only visited my site a couple of times and only for a few minutes. I didn't even bother to post or tag anything. I didn't plan it that way din naman kasi. My purpose of going back there is to enjoy what I was missing while in Germany. I had no intentions of doing what I do and enjoy while in my current host country. Eh, ano! Di parang hindi rin ako umuwi ng Pilipinas?!

Anong ginawa ko doon? Well, let me see:

** Ate as much as I could of fruits like: Lanzones, Rambutan, Mangosteen, Marang & Durian, to name some.
** We went on a long, unplanned road trip from Manila to Dipolog City!
** Of course we also had our Ilocandia Tour & feasted on Vigan longganisa.

Yeah, I know, most of the time I was eating there, hence, I gained a lot of unwanted pounds again. Even hubby made the remark quite bluntly. Couldn't help it. I would not be able to enjoy the same after some time...probably after two years pa ulit, so why not help myself to them while there na nga.

For now, I am back in Germany and the first thing I noticed while here at home for some hours is the SILENCE! Total silence, except when I have the internet radio on and listen to OPM pa rin.... of course! Just a few hours ago, I was asking hubby if the neighbors are there. Coz I would really appreciate any noise they will make at the moment, just so that I don't get home-sick. Ano ba naman yan! I should start doing what I have to do before I go back to work. Some household chores like the laundry, which I have plenty, plus the cleaning, coz the house is definitely dusty, awaits me. On top of that, I still have some errands to do, like post replies to certain mails, get hold of some people who has been trying to reach us for some weeks now, bloghopping (hehehe! ;) siyempre!!!), etc., etc.


Posted by missP at 12:23 PM

September 14, 2004

All Packed and Ready

At last, all of our four luggages are packed, locked and ready to be loaded in the car. Handcarry bags are still waiting for final decisions regarding which stuff should stay and which ones should go.... I am sure nothing will stay anyway, hahahaha!

Grabe, I didn't think I have so much luggages. At first, I thought I am not buying any pasalubongs. It is better to get them all there na lang. So, I told my friends and colleagues that I can carry whatever they want to make padala to the Philippines. Wrong move! I had three days off last week and they were all spent just shopping for presents. I didn't get so much, but definitely more than enough to fill my four big bags, hahahaha! Now I don't have space anymore but I still get calls asking if I could bring stuff for them to their families in Manila! Whatever happens, I'm sure I'll manage to pack them in.

***************

Grabe, last few days before my vacation and I still managed to get ill. I had to go to the doctor last week for my urinary tract infection. I guess it is better that I am taking medication now, than later. I don't want anything to spoil our plans when we get to Manila. We plan to go up North this time. There will be plenty of long walks and mountain climbing. Sana huwag uma-take itong UTI ko once we are there.

Yeheeeey! Apat na tulog na lang....

Posted by missP at 10:36 AM | Comments (0)

September 09, 2004

constructive criticism

Has anybody ever told you that you're a terrible writer? If not, then you are lucky...I am NOT!
Actually, the person didn't really say directly that I am one, but in a very discreet manner implied that I write only negative things, emitting a depressive mood. It's just an observation, is what the person said.

Well, what can I do? I can only write/post true entries here in my blog. I can probably make up a story and lie all the time, pretend that I am elated all the time about the things that are happening in my life...even the depressing and frustrating ones.....pero, ano ako BALIW? Who knows, maybe that's what others do. WEll, as for me, I just mainly try to jot down something that happened to me either on that same day or from the day before or reminisce about the past. They are probably depressive, yes, for I cannot deny experiencing depression sometimes. But hey.... what do I care?

I thank YOU though for telling me. Alam mo na kung sino ka...*wink*

Posted by missP at 10:53 AM

September 08, 2004

nag paka abnoy ako kahapon

Kahapon, nag punta nga ako aming OPS concerning my ID. I had the necessarry forms filled up, my passport and the "quittung" that I got in exchange for my ID which was confiscated the previous night. I went to the personnel in charge and told her the problem. I also told her the time until when the ID office is open that day so it faster. Kesa naman, mag hagilap pa siya sa mga folders niya sa loob ng kanyang kabinet at lalo pa akong mapa tagal. I knew her style, marami pa siyang mga pasikut-sikot. Dagdag mo pa ang malaserena niyang kulot na buhok, na sa pag hahawi pa lang, ubos na ang kanyang oras para mag trabaho!...

"So, Hannahlou, do me a favor, since you have everything else ready, bring all these to the Ausweistelle and request for a new ID", sabi niya. Tanong ko naman, "do I need to show them anything else aside from what I have with me now?" Sagot niya, "I don't think so, you should have everything now. Just go there and show them your documents". Lakad ako papunta nga sa nasabing lugar. I probably just did not think about it, pero, do you know Murphy's Laws? Ayun, kahapon eto na nga. Pagdating ko, unang tanong sa akin, sino ang magbabayad nito, ikaw o opisina mo? SAbi ko opisina po! KAilangan namin confirmation. Tanong ko, pwede bang tumawag na lang tayo sa kanila? Internal naman iyan. OO daw. Pag katawag, confirmed na nga. Punta na ako sa loob na kuwarto kung saan kukunan ako ng piktyur. Hanap sa akin na naman noong isang empleyado, asan ang confirmation letter na nagsasabing opisina mo ang magbabayad nito? SAbi ko, by phone lang namin ginawa doon sa labas, kasama ko ang kolege mo. Sabi niya, hindi pwede ang by phone. Sabi ko na lang, okay, bayaran ko na lang at ipapa-re-imburse ko na lang sa opisina namin yan. Kasi male-late na ako pag pinahaba ko pa ang istorya. Pumayag siya. Tsek nya ulit ang documents ko, sabay hingi sa akin ng Work Permit ko. Shock ako. Extension lang naman po ang kailangan ko, naka pag submit na ako ng Work Permit the first time I applied for an ID here. Wala naman po expiration ang work permit ko. Sabi niya, kailangan ko ulit ng copy. Okay, in short hindi na nagawa ang Id ko. Umabot din ako doon ng mahigit 45 minutes at naubos na ang extra time allowance ko, bago ako mag start ng trabaho. Bumalik ako sa opisina namin at sinalaysay ko ang nangyari.....

*******
BTW, 10 araw na lang lilipad na ako pauwi sa ating bayan, yipeeyyyy!.... this thought is keeping me on cloud 9!

Sinagot ba naman ako ng CSM na: "Regarding your ID, our assistant told me that you are aware that the ID is expiring since you came here sometime in August to inform her about it. Now it is your responsibility to get it extended. About the ID fee, you will have to talk to the head chief about it".

Pag kasabi niya nito, ay, nag explode ang beauty ko! SAbi ko sa kanya, " I am going on vacation middle of this month until middle of October. In my ID it says expiration date: 09/04. This to me, means that the ID will be expired end of September, hence, pag balik ko galing bakasyon, invalid na siya. Kaya ako nag punta dito at ipina alam ko ito sa kompanya. When I came here, sabi ng napaka efficient mong assistant may panahon pa naman ako. She also believed that my ID will expire only end of this month. She anyway told me to fill up the form that she gave me, to get it all done earlier. I said I would do it. I was not aware at all that my ID expired first of September. Anyway, what is your point here?"

Sagot niya: "I am not trying to make a point". Ngekkk!!! hello?????

"If it is about the payment for the ID, Fine I will shoulder it, but don't tell me that I am to blame for what happened to my ID just because you are not doing your job here. You yourself hired me, you have all the my files here which you requested prior to my employment. You requested for the ID last year and submitted all the documents there. You are supposed to take cake that your agents are allowed to wander about the Frankfurt Airport with proper ID's, uniform and all. That is your job and that's what you are paid for."

Sabi niya ulit: "Oh no, I cannot check every passport or record to see if your ID is valid." Hello ulit! Wrong number ka na naman, iha! To this sabi ko na lang sa kanya; "Of course that is your duty. That is what you are paid for. Hindi lang pag papa beauty at pag release ng uniporme ang trabaho mo." Tapos, iniwan ko siya.

The thing is, hindi naman ako talaga palasagot. I usually just say, okay, it was a mistake. We can try to get it fixed. Pero kahapon, sa inis ko talagang magpabalik-balik sa opisina sa init ng araw, plus may PMS pa ako. Aba, wala yatang tricycle dito. At hindi naman ako pwedeng mag daan sa Transit area kung saan may mga puno at buildings kaya medyo mahangin, dahil wala nga akong ID. Ay, sinagot ko siya ng walang pakundangan, sabay walk out sa mukha niya. Sige nga, subukan niya ang Pinoy galitin. Buti nga mild pa ako. Although, naging abnoy nga yata ako kahapon! Hay, bad trip ulit!!!

Posted by missP at 09:46 AM

September 07, 2004

Bad trip!

Kagabi, habang papa uwi na ako... nag punch out ako with my ID....nakngtipaklong.... kinain ba naman ang ID ko. Nagkaroon yata ng identity crisis yung "lesegerät" sa airport at.... AS if, akala siguro eh cash automat siya, biglang nilunok na ang ID ko. Ni reklamo ko sa airport security ang nangyari. Tinanong ko kung paano nangyari iyon eh valid naman ang ID ko. Tsi-nek niya, sabay sabi sa akin...mula september 1st pa daw hindi valid ang ID ko. Ngekkk! Eh, ang laki-laki ng nakasulat na expiry date sa harap mismo ng ID, malaki pa nga sa panganlan kong napaka haba...09/04...ibig sabihin hanggang katapusan pa this month ang expiration nito...

Sabi niya kailangan ko na naman mag apply ng bagong id...litek! matagalang processo na naman ito! May take two to three weeks....mapapaaga pa yata ang bakasyon ko......ooopss! hold that thought....parang pabor sa akin itong pangyayaring ito, ah!

Pero, INIS talaga ako, dahil maaga pa naman sana ako naka alis sa position ko at maha-habol ko pa ang bus papuntang parking area...sa halip, ayun, inabot ako ng alas 12:10 midnight sa airport. Ang hirap pa nito, kailangan maaga ako pumunta ngayon sa OPS namin para maka kuha ako ng temporary one day ID bago ako mag start ng work...bad trip talaga!

Posted by missP at 10:58 AM

August 30, 2004

countdown begins, at iba pa

I have never felt so bad as lately. I feel that my routine in life is: work-sleep-work-sleep-work..... I don't have a life anymore. Worst, I think I am becoming a slave. Not a slave to money, No! This is definitely not about money since, I am definitely not getting rich with the salary I am earn now. I am becoming a slave to the work. I am also no Work-a-holic...in fact I am a happy-go-lucky person when it comes to work. But I love to do something that would keep me busy. I know, this is becoming contradicting since being busy means having to do something all the time. I guess we each have our limitations. I know, I am looking for an excuse. But for once, after a long time, I want to be just free from the job.

Well, now I am writing about these non-sensical ideas I have in my head, I slowly realize why I feel like this. During the last fourteen days, I only had one day off. I had a free day which I spent just laying around at home not doing anything. I just relaxed. I feel that this was not enough. I need another day or two. Perhaps I even need a week or two...or even a month?!?

Hehehe, I think now I am getting there! I may just be excited about my trip to the Philippines. I can wait for the 17th to come...then I only have to wait two more days, until I get there. Unfortunately, it is only the 30th of August. Have 20 more days to go until I am back in Manila... I can hardly wait!!!

Waaaaaahh! ibalik n'yo na ako sa Pilipinas!!!

Posted by missP at 11:38 AM

August 24, 2004

more of me...

WHAT IS THE MEANING OF YOUR NAME?
Hannahlou - "Hannah" means graceful, "Lou" i have no idea

WHAT'S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR NAME?
My complete name is Hannahlou Ilaliv - my mom wanted the name Hannahlou, the Ila is from my paternal grandma's name, Isabel and the Liv is from my dad because he liked this famous person so much who had the same name.

WHAT DO YOU LiKE DOiNG WHEN YOU`RE DEPRESSED?
Go for a long drive, shopping, eating chocolates/sweets

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO NAME YOUR FUTURE CHILD?
For a girl-Topangga Lea; for a boy-Johann Siegfred

WHAT MAKES YOU NERVOUS?
uncertainty

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Love Stories

WHAT'S THE ONE THING THAT IS LACKING IN YOUR LIFE?
Having a child

WHAT'S YOUR MIDNIGHT SNACK?
chips & cookies

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF HOMOSEXUAL MARRIAGES?
it doesn't really bother me, as long as I don't see the couple kiss

WHAT'S ONE THING YOU LOVE ABOUT YOUR COUNTRY?
The warmth of the people, the beautiful & bountiful nature, abundance of exotic fruits...

DESCRIBE YOUR MOM.
Intelligent, Wise, Resourceful, Petite, Sexy, Cool

MOST MEANINGFUL THING SAID TO YOU?
Stay away from people who don't deserve to be your Friend

LONGEST CAR/BUS RIDE YOU'VE TAKEN?
Im not sure which is farther: Bus ride form Manila to Bicol or from Singapore to Malaysia. Both times it took us the whole night to travel.

BIBLE QUOTE YOU'LL NEVER FORGET?
"For God so loved the world, that He gave his only Begotten Son..."

BEST GIFT YOU HAVE EVER RECEIVED?
Being saved by Jesus

SHOW THAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Mr. Bean, Keeping Up Appearances, 'Allo-'Allo, Lady Kracker to name some

NICEST THING YOU HAVE EVER DONE?
really CARED for someone

LOOK AROUND. WHAT CAUGHT YOUR EYE?
shelves filled with books, my dolls, ML's puppy, maps of the world, of Germany and of the Philippines

YOUR WISH WHEN YOU LAST BLEW A BIRTHDAY CANDLE?
very confidential, won't tell

CLOSE YOUR EYES FOR A FEW SECONDS. WHAT DID YOU SEE?
white spot in the center of blackness

DO YOU LIKE BUYING BRANDED CLOTHES?
not really, no

DO YOU KNOW YOUR BESTFRIEND'S FRIENDSTER PASSWORD?
no, she doesn't like Friendster

DO YOU FOLLOW FASHION TRENDS?
not religiously, no.

HAVE YOU EVER RUN AWAY?
sort of

HAVE YOU EVER LITERALLY BEEN A SHOULDER TO CRY ON?
a lot of times, yes.

HAVE YOU EVER INTENTIONALLY IGNORED SOMEONE?
yes, I have very strong passive-aggressive trait

HAVE YOU EVER WENT ON A ROMANTIC DATE?
several times, actually. I am a romantic at heart.

HAVE YOU EVER RECEIVED A LOVE LETTER? WHEN WAS THE FIRST TIME?
yes. The first time was when I was still in high school

DO YOU THINK YOU'LL EVER GET CANCER?
sometimes I think so, because I smoke, because I have several relatives who had breast cancer

IF YOU DO GET CANCER AND HAVE ABOUT A MONTH TO LIVE, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
LIVE


Lifted from AyEeN

Posted by missP at 09:55 AM

August 21, 2004

Own Spa at home?

Well, not really, but almost! A massage parlor it can be, but all exclusive for me...hehehe!

Today, I woke up with very sore muscles all over my body. I do think I need a complete body massage. As I got up from the bed, I could hardly stand on my feet, let alone walk. ML noticed it immediately and ordered me to stay put in bed.He disappeared for a few minutes into the bathroom. He came back with the towels, my special massage oil which he bought me as a present from Egypt and some CD's which he thought would help me relax while he is giving me massage.He also brought this desk book of massage techniques that he also bought for me when he went to the U.K. a few years back. Isn't he the greatest hubby in the worl?

He prepared the bed and ordered me to lay on my back and then just started giving me massage. After the 45 minutes, i was completely relieve of the sore muscles. I rested for a while after that! Isn't that a great way to start a Saturday??? I am surely lucky I have a wonderful, loving hubby.

*************************

1. When is your birthday? October 23rd

2. If you change when your birthday was, would you?

Yes! I want how it is to feel celebrating a
birthday once every four years! I want it to be on the 29th of Febraury.

3. What was your favorite birthday party you ever had?

All of them. Each birthday celebration was special since it was always held at a different place, on a different situation and with old and new friends around me.


4. Do you have any original birthday traditions?
I guess you can say, I am "boring" cause I don't have any!

5. Do you do any of the unoriginal birthday tradions,
such as adding an extra candle for good luck, being the first to cut the
cake, or smearing your name on your cake and putting it on your nose?

I always wear something new, something old something borrowed and something in red. Like the Chinese New Year tradition...

Lifted from Daily Dirt

Posted by missP at 01:47 PM

August 02, 2004

projects unfinished

Here I go again. I have so many things planned. I have already started some of them, but somehow, I cannot seem to find the time to finish them. Lately, I could barely find the time to sit down just tinker around with the computer, surf the net, or let alone finish reading a book.

For example, early this year, February to be exact, we thought it is about time that we start a family. I know, I have always said that i don't want a child yet at this point, and all that blah, blah. I was even very vocal about it. I guess, somehow, somewhere deep inside me, I also do long to have one. I think, and I have heard this from every mom I know and met, "becoming a mother is the ultimate fulfillment of a woman". Maybe this is true. DEep inside me, I do have this feeling and urge to have one of my own. Now is just not the time yet, oder? Well anyway, we started planning to have a child. First thing we checked and analyzed is the regularity of my monthly period. That didn't work as expected, since well, at least until now; I am still as unpregnant as before. Then we started with the daily check of my Basal Body Temperature. This one's quite difficult for me, since I have different shifting schedule at work. Normally, I am supposed to record my body temperature at around the same time every morning before I get out of the bed. But, there are days where I have to get up at around 01:30 in the morning. Nevertheless, i still record my body temp. We would have to wait & see in the next months if this would ever work.

Another thing i planned to do was to start another site where I and several other bloggers can write something, some sort of a community where we can all share ideas useful to us Filipinas relocated outside the Philippines. This is also quite difficult to finish, since until now, I am still trying to understand how this phpbb thing and these MySQL, MS-SQL, PostgreSQL, as to how they work. At least I have already prepared the layout and the format, as if naman it would help me a lot!

Then, there are the small stuffs like preparation for the trip to the Philippines, seminars that have to be taken and arrangements for our twice a year get together here at my place. Well, we have at least done it two years in a row. Once in August and another sometime in November. So, we will have one before I would fly to the Philippines and the next one, when I come back.

I have also been trying to compile the pictures that I have in my previous online album in Topangga, which is accessible only to family members & close friends. I want to post them in my gallery but only very selected ones. I have not posted the pictures yet from the birthday celebration of my Father-in-law, because of some issues. Apparenty, some of the guests didn't want their pics posted on the net, so I am still editing the whole bunch...Hay nako, matagalang pagba-babad naman ito sa harap ng computer, I'm sure!

Of course, there is work which is constantly calling even on my days-off. It seems like there is all the time shortage of manpower in our company. To think this is not actually the case. We do have a small company but we are more than adequately staffed.

I never thought I have a really busy life until now that I took time to think about all of the things that I still have to do and prepare for. I wonder if I will ever manage them this year. At least, I am sure the baby thing will not happen this year yet. I just found out from an internet site that this could even take months (which I now know), and even years! And the parties have fixed dates. But the rest, well, I have to take each day as it comes. See which one I can finish first.

Posted by missP at 02:43 AM

July 30, 2004

basket of flowers

Obviously, I have not posted anything for some days, 'cause here I am again trying to do it all in one day. I wanted to post the drafts I made yesterday. But some friends came over and picked me up. One wanted to go shopping some furnitures. So, off we went to Moebel Walther in Gelnhausen. Then we dropped by at another Filipina's house for a short chat, kaya, eto Ms. Elaine ang explanation kung bakit ina-amag na ang blog site ko....hahaha!

We found a lot of good stuffs at the shop but mostly either it was too big or it was not the type of furniture that my friend wanted, so we ended up going home with a basket of flowers instead, hahahah! Sa labas kasi ng Moebel Walther, merong nag titinda ng flowers one of those rolling stores. Mura naman at magaganda. Kaya napa bili na rin ang aking frendo. Tapos on our way to see this other Filipina, may mga nakita kaming fileds where you can pick the flowers yourself and you just have to pay some coins for them. Sunflowers lang din ang pinitas namin. To go with the nice ones that my friend got earlier. Beside the flower fields was the strawberry fields, but we thought the strawberryies may not be good yet. It is still too early to go strawberry picking this time of the year. So, we scheduled our strawberry picking sometime next week instead. As if naman we are experts on when the good time for strawberry picking is, hahaha!

Posted by missP at 11:33 AM

July 21, 2004

Sun Sign Profile

Scorpio

I was born under the intense sign Scorpio, the eighth sign of the zodiac, best characterized by passion, intensity, and emotionality. It is considered to be the most powerful and extreme sign of the zodiac, because people born under this sign can deal with the process of fundamental transformation on all levels.

Pluto is my ruler and is known as the planet of permanent change and transformation. It is also associated with sex, the life cycle of birth and death, and regeneration. Pluto's influence makes me a charismatic, yet enigmatic person. While I may appear serene on the surface, deep inside I contain a magnetic intensity and powerfully hypnotic personality, belied only by a penetrating stare of deep intelligence. (Nakkkks! as if!)

Being a Scorpio also means being associated with other people's money, possessions, and values, as well as wealth received through inheritance; it also describes how and to what extent we commit, and bond with our partner, both on a sexual and emotional level. It is a fixed sign, which means that I am steadfast in adversity. Once I put my mind to something, I display self-discipline and staying power. I work stoically to achieve my goals - no matter the cost!

My strengths lie in my ability to confront and channel powerful emotions and profound insights. With my great tenacity and willpower, I am well suited to positions of authority, thanks also to a firm sense of responsibility, strategical approaches and charismatic aura.

I do have weaknesses, too! I can be blunt and demanding, and at worst, I may become merciless, obsessive, and manipulative. I am known for my passive-aggressive behavior, which sometimes reveals my proclivity for martyrdom. I am also prone to displaying destructive, and revengeful behavior, which confirms my radical all-or-nothing approach to life.

******
phewww!!!!
Ang lalim. Most of it is true, some are not and some, honestly I didn't even notice where in me.....ngekkk!

******

Napanood ko kanina sa BBC World ang pag release ng mga kidnappers kay Angelo de la Cruz. Nasa Philippine Embassy na siya sa Baghdad. Pati ang mga sundalo ay nag move out na rin one month earlier than scheduled. Naka televise din ang pag ka kausap ni Presidet Arroyo kay Angelo. Pinakita din ang mga tuwang-tuwa na kamag-anak ng naging biktima.

Na criticize ang gobyerno ng Pilipinas sa action na ito ni Presidente Arroyo, pero hindi pa naman nag re-react si Pangulong Arroyo. Ang mahalaga, na iligtas na ang buhay ng isang mang-gagawang Pilipino sa ibang bayan. Hay, salamat naman!

Posted by missP at 12:54 AM

July 16, 2004

Hangover or what?

I came back from a long weekend getaway feeling rested and lazy. I still have plenty of things to do, like eventually publish the entry that i wrote as a draft on pieces of table napkins (hehehe!), write the report that my Boss requested, post some thank you cards, not to mention catching up on the blogreads...hahaha! As usual, I am being my procrastinating self again. Here I am, sitting in front of the computer, writing this entry with a glass of white wine and a box of Rafaello, yet, still too lazy to start on my "to do" list. I guess it will just have to wait awhile longer.

But hey, I give myself credit on having started with the catching up on the blogreads.....hehehe!


Posted by missP at 02:52 AM

July 01, 2004

Good News, Bad News

When I came home from Belgium, I found some interesting news. One had something to do with work. It turned out that I have been chosen for a position which I have not applied for! I was so surprised when I got the schedule for July. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. This new status was confirmed when the manager came to me and talked to me about it. I tried to tell him what I felt then. That I really appreciate the commendation. For believing that I am capable of the entrustment, i am very pleased. He on the other hand, assured me that he believes I can do it. That is even more scary for me to know.

The thing is, I am having doubts if I can deliver what they expect of me. I am sure there are other personnel who are much more qualified for the position, but for some reason, they just didn't get it. Furthermore, I had not planned to stay long with this company. I am being honest when I say this. My boss knows that I am just waiting for an Ausbildungs Platz. I planned to do something else for the near future. But in the light of this new event, It seems like I may have to stay longer.

I guess I will just have to wait and see. Maybe something else will come up. In the mean time, I will continue to do the best I can. I just hope and pray I will manage to live up to their expectations if not do much better!

The other interesting turn of event, well, I am having doubts if I should blog about it. For now, I will leave it as it is. I have said my piece on the subject. But that doesn't mean I have forgotten everything. I just don't know yet how to approach the whole thing for now. I think I will just leave it up to the people involved.

Posted by missP at 10:26 PM

June 30, 2004

23% Evil...

I came home from work much earlier than expected, kaya eto, dalawa entry o for today. I was just bloghopping and then found this from a blogsite. I followed the link on Sade's: Cyber Cuties and here's what I got!


I am 23% evil.

evil.gif



I try to stay away from evil deeds but succumb to temptation every once in a while. I'm not quite on my way to hell but I certainly have some explaining to do.


Honestly, this is really me...

Are you evil? find out at Hilowitz.com


Posted by missP at 06:49 PM

June 23, 2004

I say a little Prayer

The moment I wake up
Before I put on my makeup
I say a little prayer for you
While combing my hair, now
And wondering what dress to wear now
I say a little prayer for you

Forever, forever, you'll stay in my heart
And I will love you
Forever, forever, we never will part
Oh, how I'll love you
Together, together, that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only mean heartbreak for me

I run for the bus, dear
While riding I think of us, dear
I say a little prayer for you
At work I just take time
And all through my coffee break time
I say a little prayer for you

My darling, believe me
For me there is no one but you
Please love me too
I'm in love with you
Answer my prayer
Say you love me too
Why don't you answer my prayer, yeah
You know every day I say a little prayer
I say, I say I say a little prayer

****************************

I can't help it. The whole night, this song's been on my mind....it got stuck!!!
I know, I am an old, sentimental fool. I wanted to look for a midi version of this song, but i have a long day ahead of me tomorrow. I can't stay up all night for this....but i really cannot get it out of my head. Darn!!!

Posted by missP at 04:04 AM

June 14, 2004

'la ko ma-i blog eh, hehehe!

Courtesy of . . . TIPTOES

***INSTRUCTIONS***
1. Copy this whole list on your journal.
2. Bold the things that are true about you.
3. Type your comments after the statement if you feel like reacting to them. Just enclose them in parentheses.

01. When I was younger I made some bad decisions.
02. I don't watch much TV these days.
03. I love psychodelic mushrooms. (can somebody please tell me what psychodelic mushrooms are?!)
04. I love sleeping.
05. I have loads of books.
06. I once slept in a toilet.
07. I love playing video games.
08. I adore marijuana.
09. I've watched porn movies.
10. I watch them with my father.
11. I like sharks.
12. I love spiders. I think they're adorable, especially the ones with bright colours on their backs.
13. I was born without hair and I still have no hair.
14. I like George Bush.
15. People are cool. (some people are...)
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
17. I have jacuzzi and a Porsche. (wow how i wish!!)
18. I have a lot to learn.
19. I carry my knife everywhere with myself.
20. I'm really really smart. (uhmmm..not really, REALLY smart... but smart enough. *wink*)
21. I've never broken someone's bones.
22. I have a secret.
23. I hate snow.
24. I drink only milk.
25. Punk rock rules.
26. I hate Bill Gates!
27. I love Chinese food.
28. I would hate to be famous.
29. I am not a morning person.
30. I wear glasses.
31. I don't need glasses, except sunglasses.
32. I have potential. (yeah, of what?hehe)
33. I'm pure Japanese.
34. My legs are two different sizes.
35. I have a twin.
36. I wear a padded bra.
37. I can ramble on about absolutely nothing.
38. I'm left-handed.
39. I hate llamas, but I'm one of them.
40. I don't like horror movies.
41. I suck at climbing, but I love it anyway.
42. People hate me usually.
43. I love pop music.
44. I hardly ever go to bed before midnight.
45. I hate parking fines.
46. I know the National Anthem of my country by heart.
47. I know more than two languages.
48. I spend too much time on my computer.
49. I often want to throw out the computer in a window.
50. I live on a ground floor.
51. I don't like chocolate.
52. I'd like to be more original.
53. I've lied. (tell me who hasn't)
54. Cocks are my favorite birds.
55. I want to conquer the world.
56. I wonder what happens when you die. (actually, OFTEN)
57. I've read all Harry Potter books.
58. Eat your dog!
59. I love to exercise.
60. I hate chemistry with a passion.
61. I love to write. (but I have no talent for it!)
62. I like changes. (sometimes...)
63. I hate going to class.
64. I am afraid to die.
65. I hate dish washing.
66. My hair is long, brown, and incredibly curly.
67. My nails are nine inches long. (huh?)
68. My favourite color is black. (are earthy colors!!!)
69. I like to sleep on the floor.
70. I am hopeless at cooking. (at painting and sewing)
71. I sucked my thumb when I was little.
72. I should be doing something else rather than writing this.
73. I am online a lot, but not on MSN.
74. I hate government.
75. I don't have a boyfriend. (but I have a husband)
76. I'm too nice for my own good. (ek)
77. I love to read, I read as much as I can.
78. I don't trust newspapers. (politicians)
79. I like debating.
80. I live in a lagoon.
81. I clean my room once a month. (twice a week)
82. I'm scared of American fast food.
83. I am prying open my third eye.
84. I love Mozambique. (New Zealand and Australia, i'd love to visit there one day...)
85. I don't trust any religion.
86. I used to play with Barbies because all the other girls were doing it.
87. I wanted to be a super hero when I was little.
88. I like listening to wind chimes.
90. My hair is long and straight. (WAS. just got it cut!)
91. I earn a lot.
92. I don't like spicy food.
93. I keep a diary.
94. I can't do cartwheels.
95. I am very lazy. (sometimes...)
96. I'm sarcastic. (sometimes...)
97. I think my hair is annoying.
98. I'm very sensitive. (according to those who know me pretty well:))
99. I love being "ab-normal". (who is normal nowadays?)
100. My left eye is violet and my right eye is a light blue. (whats that?LOL)

Posted by missP at 11:22 AM

June 07, 2004

Di na Long hair

Medyo matagal na rin akong exposed sa same-sex relationship...no hindi dahil may ka-relasyon akong girl din, king hindi dahil marami akong friends na Badetch at Girl-Boy! Lalo na noong nasa Pilipinas pa ako.

My mom and her sisters kasi openned up a Beauty Parlor sometime during 1995-1997. Kami ng sisters ko ang palitan na nagba-bantay sa mga Badetch everytime wala si madir. Mag hapon mo ba namang kasama ang mga Badetch na haircutters and ang Girl-Boy naming manicurista...ano fah?! (Take note, ex-con pala yung manicurista namin na iyon. Pinatay niya mister niya dahil nahuli niyang may kasiping sa sarili nilang kama isang araw sa buhay niya, habang siya naman ay nag-papaka kubang mag linis ng kuka ng iba. Hindi ko lang matandaan kung bakit nakalabas siya ng kulungan.) Pero reformed na daw siya. Nang lumabas sa sa bilibid ay naging Born Again Christian na siya. "Salamat sa Pag-Ibig ni Hesus", ikan nga niya.

Madami akong natutunan sa mga Badetch na iyon. Hindi lang pa-tungkol sa carreer nila, kundi pati lovelife and ... well buong storya ng buhay nila, actually.

Ang buhay nila, labas sa original na pamilya ay masaya. Pero, kadalasan, sa kani-kanilang pamilya, hindi tanggap ang pagka bading nila. Kaya naman super sugod sila to the comfort of their kapwa Badetch. Masaya, may tulungan at tunay na concern ang makikita mo sa kanila. Pero nandoon din ang matinding landian at awayan blues. Isa pang pampa gaan ng kalooban nila ay ang kanilang mga fafa. kahit na ba sabihin na nating niloloko lang sila ng mga ka-lalakihan na ito, pero in fairness naman, meron naman ibang fafa na totoo sa kanila.

Napa lapit nga ako sa kanila, dahil nadadala ako sa mga storya nila sa buhay. At ang pinaka-masarap pa na part nito, since mabait ako sa kanila, (chika! mahilig kasi silang mag-advance, at madalas sa akin lang nila nagagawa ito), alagang-alaga nila ang beauty ko. Every week ang trim ng buhok ko. Hot oil at kung anu-ano pa twice a month. Kaya, sa kaka-trim, i ended up having a bob cut, pero in fairness ang ganda ng hair ko noon. "Soft and shiny", o divah?! pang commercial ang caption! Hindi pa naa-aninag ang signs of wisdom...hehehe! Haaay! Those were the days.

Pero, mabalik ako sa aking thema. Masarap nga silang maging kaibigan. Karamihan pa sa kanila ay talaga namang matalino...given the chance, they would definitely excel in their chosen profession. Pero marami din sa kanila ang nakapag-tapos sa hindi nila gustong kurso. Porke, iyon ang gusto ng magulang nila or iyon ang expected ng family nila of them. In the end, natatapos man nila ang degree, hindi naman sila nag pa-practice. They still end up working for big time Gay businessmen or "businessgaymen", (invented terms ko ito. whetehr they do exist or not, fead-ma ang B.Y. ko), hehehe. Pero, salamat sa kanila, na me-maintain ang beauty nating mga "tunay" na girls. Napapa gaan ang feeling natin whenever we are not in a good mood. Diba after a nice "do" makeover, kahit pa anong sama ng pakiramdam ng isang tao, talagang bumabalik ang self-esteem nito? At least, it always worked for me.

Bakit ito ang blog ko? Kasi, bagong gupit ang hair ko. Pang summer! I had this hair style last, eh, before I came to Europe...so for me, retro style...o divah? To see, simply point cursor on the picture at the left side corner of the screen....

Posted by missP at 10:30 AM

June 03, 2004

Insane daw ako

I was just passing time, so, I thought I will give this a try. This is what I got:

MMasculine
IInsane
SSophisticated
SShiny
PPlain

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com


***
Hehehe, my alias' acronym says ako daw ay Sophisticated na Tomboy...hhhmmmm...may "K"! heheheheeh!

Some people may think I am a Geek! Those who met me at least and those who got to know me a little, knows that I am very much interested into Dream interpretations, Tarot reading, Palm reading, Tea leaves interpretation and most specially Feng Shui. When i start talking or discussing about any of these topics mentioned, I just simply lose track of time. I would go on and on about the whole thing. I may even have brought a lot of boredom to some. Somebody once said, I am making hocus-pocus out of everything. Well, I would say, "To Each His Own".


June 02, 2004

Naisip ko lang. . .

Gosh! Akala ko I would be able to finish everything that I have to do before I go back to work again. I go back to work again today after a long weekend....and well, I did manage to get the errands done. Pero ang dami ko pang kailangan tawagan at dalawin. Pakiramdam ko, napa bayaan ko na ang mga taong malapit sa akin dito sa lugar na dayuhan. No, we are not "best-friends and all", but I am the type of person who keeps in touch with people. Hindi man everyday thing, kahit every month or so lang. Kasi, I don't want them to feel like I just talk to them pag kailangan ko ang tulong nila. Kasi, ayoko ko din na ginagamit ako in the same way. Admittedly kasi, maraming Pilipino dito sa Germany who are exactly so. Pag may kailangan sa akin, asahan mo, walang patid ang calls nila. Puro puri at magagandang salita lang ang maririnig sa kanila. But
immediately after they get what they need or want, wala ka nang maririnig from them!

NO, I don't obligate them to report to me all the time. I also don't want to pressure them. I don't want them to feel like they have the need to tell me everything, otherwise they would loose my friendship. I don't want that myself.

All I am saying is, I want to do it like this. I want to keep in touch every now and then. This is me. Ayoko din naman ng sobrang "keeping in touch" like everyday, every hour, eh, medyo I would have to send a text message letting them what I am doing, or where I am at. OA!

Posted by missP at 11:10 AM

May 31, 2004

Mixed Emotions

I have not been able to blog for some days because was so busy with working schedules plus the household errands. I slowly managed to finish half of them, but I still need to do the last part. Some sort of finishing touches. Now, after all these caracus about jobs and stuffs, I am slowly thinking again about three things:

Concentrate on looking for an "Ausbildung's platz" myself;
Wait until until arbeitsamt finds one for me;
Stop working and just go back to "Day Trading".

The third one appeals to me the most. I did it before when we were still living in Belgium until 9/11 happened. Then we became torn between making money out of the loss of other people or follow moral rules about Christianity. The latter won of course. In the end we would have made millions but in exchange for our soul. That was something we didn't bargain for. Or maybe, I am just not made to be a businesswoman. But the decision was not mine alone. It was some sort of our first business venture (mine & hubby's) together. Hubby did the technical stuff, planning, simulating graphs and so on. I did the actual day trading. I would come home from my part time secretarial job at an investment firm and start working from home then. Listening to news and watching out the stock market were like peanut butter sandwhich to me. Even my niece, was eating the same thing every afternoon. Then 9/11 happened. We did loose some but we also managed to salvage a great part of the whole winnings. On the day that it happened, I was just watching the usual stuff like a regular day, and then suddenly, they were showing the second plane on on tv crashing into the second building. But I digress.

Anyway, we are thinking again of playing around with stocks. The thing is, I am still not so sure that I would manage to do it all again. To undergo the same stress and tension is something that I don't want to think of now. We may not earn as much as we were earning before nowadays, but that's fine for me. I would not exchange this for any amount at the momment. Perhaps, later...next time...next year....

Posted by missP at 02:15 PM

May 22, 2004

"Pa-Cute"

Lifted this from Jordy's site


What Name Should You Have? by Lauren

To: Jordy,

I didn't really like the name too much. Masyadong matamis at mabait sa pandinig ko....what's ironnic is, agree si hubby ko na dapat daw "Gabrielle" name ko. We ended up in a silly argument, hehehe...kc tinopak ako!!!

But, I had fun though...hakhakhak!!!

Posted by missP at 05:23 PM

May 18, 2004

Welcome to my new home!

Hello everybody! :)

For some weeks now, I have been packing up, (as if naman plenty?!?). Mahirap talagang maging "T-bob". Anjang may nawa-walang post o kaya naman hindi ma re-direct, etc.,etc.

Sana this time ok na. . .

Watch out for my albums from my wedding and more....

Note:
Pasencya na, may mga comments na hindi ko pa nai-sama sa pag lilipat. babalikan ko pa sila sa sunod na hakot....hehehe...

Posted by missP at 10:00 AM

May 15, 2004

Weekend Special!

I received a text message from a friend very early this morning telling me to check something out in the net. She thinks that I am accused of something by another person. I was still sleepy and confused of what she had texted me about, so i grabbed the phone from my bedside table and called her.

My friend was so excited about the whole thing and started talking about the incident immediately. I had to ask her to pause for a while, since I had no idea what she was talking about. She assumed that I have already seen/read the "article entry and comments" that she was referring to. So, I said hold on, I really have no clue. Start again from the very beginning. So, she did.

My initial reaction was to get up from the bed and go to the computer and check it out for myself. I never believed in just relying on hearsays. I had to see and read it for myself. Apparently, this Filipina wrote something in her blogs which stirred the feelings of some people. Naturally, since it is open to public, she started getting comments. The thing was, somebody left a comment with the Belgian IP address. My friend had the feeling that this girl knows that I came from Belgium and seems to assume that the person who left a "comment" would be my relative.

What I did, I also traced this IP address that she posted in her reply. It is indeed from Belgium. It is a computer linked to the internal network of the Catholic University in Louvain, Belgium. Okay, that is then established. Anybody can find this out for himself from the RIPE Whois Database.

I don't really see any logic in it. I can only believe this to be true if, I knew at least one person studying or working at this University. Which is not the case.

In the end, I could assure my friend that I was neither directly nor indirectly involved into their discussion about "ignorance and arrogance". Having said this, I would like to express strongly that the last comment is really way below the belt and should not be given extra attention. I would simply delete the comment.

Looking at the whole thing, it's funny how the internet can spice up our life and provide little excitements. ;-)

Posted by missP at 10:39 AM

May 14, 2004

My own share of "jerkiness"

In my high school days, I had to change schools two times. It was not because I was a bad student, it was simply due to the fact that we always had to move to a new place every two years. I couldn't understand how my parents would only get two year contracts for an appartment. I guess they thought at that time, it would be better for us to go back to the province.

Anyway, I am straying...going back to the school, It was my second year in high school. I just moved into this school. Since I enrolled late, I could only go to a lower section. For the first weeks, I would not go to school because I couldn't accept the fact that I did not belong to the "cream of the Crop" group. Nope, meeting a boy one day, did not even convince me to go school. I thought it would be reason enough for me to play around in that class but I underestimated myself. I simply didn't have the motivation or the lust to go to. Eventually though, my mom tricked me into going. I don't know how she did it, but she did. I went with mixed emotions. I remembered my mom telling me that if I do good for the first quarter, then I would automatically join the cream of the crop section. At the same time, I was thinking to myself, how can this happen? Why should I trust her? In short, my stubbornness is slowly seeping through.

The first week, I was like a zombie in that class. But i learned my very first lessons of humbleness in there. I was so aloof because I thought too much of myself, that I didn't even want to mingle with my classmates. I always told myself that I was only there temporarily. The same story I told my classmates when I was introduced to them. That was a mistake. My advisor slapped me straight to my face that I turned 380 degrees from being such a "jerk". Yes! Women can be jerks! I never said the same thing again to my classmates. From then on, I just said, I enrolled late so I didn't get a place in the first section. Come to think of it, I didn't have to tell them this because for them to be in that section was already reward enough. (But somehow, blame it to my immaturity and naivity, the old habbit would still come out every now and then). They worked hard to be there and they got there. I didn't realize I was hurting their feelings each time I tried to condemn my life for being in that section.

I am happy to be so when I was still younger, now I do know how to deal with other people in their certain level. No, I refuse to stoop down to the level of immaturity, if they are immature; but I would also not "make a fire out of a smoke" with them.

One thing I am quite sure of, I know myself, my talents, my capabilities. I am aware where I came from, I am sure where I should go next. I am not in doubt as to what will be. I just have to be strong enough to face every obstacle that comes my way. I don't look down on others, instead, I accept each person I meet as he/she is.

If for example, there is something that I find disturbing in a person, I always let him/her know about it. Not that it gets to become an issue later. I tell it directly to the person concerned and not resort to sidecommenting or back biting. Thank goodness, so far, this has not happened yet. I dread the day when I would meet somebody who would try my strength and would make me do things that I would regret doing afterwards.

Posted by missP at 08:06 AM

May 13, 2004

Film Faves . . .

Today, having all the day free, i decided to look for a film that i
could watch while doing some household chores. Last week was Filipino
film week, so this time, i decided to choose from my English all time
favorites collection. So, i went over to my collection of movies and
started scanning through the whole lot for a film that suits my mood...
while doing so, i found out that i have now almost all of the films that
i love to watch. Kahit ilang beses ko pa silang ulit-uliting panoorin,
walang kasawa-an...

I like to watch films, kaya lang, very peeky ako when it
comes to films. I cannot bear to watch scary films nor violent ones.
Masyado akong nake-carried away. Hindi ko kaya ang emotions na
nararamdaman ko while watching any of these two. Kahit sino pa ang
actors or actress.

Among my all time favorites though are:

1. The Sound of Music - which is actually main reason why I went to
visit Salzburg, Austria;

2. The Wizard of Oz;

3. Irma La Douce - this is one hilarious, romantic comedy of all time;

4. Gone With the Wind - i read the book version of this which was really
great, but the film is better;

5. Love Story;

6. The Grease Lightning;

7. West Side Story;

8. Shrek;

9. Sleepless In Seattle;

10. Les Miserables;

11. Mary Poppins;

12. Moulin Rouge;

13. An Affair to Remember;

14. The Mist of Avalon;

15. Superman - I was a big fan of Christopher Reeves;

16. La Vita e Bella;

17. Chocolat;

18. Casablanca;

19. The Hobbit;

20. Forrest Gump;

21. The Sixth Sense;

22. LotR ;

23. Harry Potter

. . . bad part is, palubog na ang araw, wala pa akong napa-pa nood. Kasi, napa blog hop, napa tele-babad at napa dami ang kain ng lunch kaya naka tulog afterwards....hehhehehe!!

Posted by missP at 05:47 PM

May 04, 2004

Started quite early

This is nothing extra special. I didn't have anything else recent to blog about hence, I am going back to "memory lane".

I love to work. I started working at an early age of 12 or 13. I am not going to mention the name of the company, because it still exists and I don't want them to get in trouble for hiring a minor. It was my choice anyway. I was still in in grade school then, but I was already doing summer jobs for two months. I did it every summer until I turned 17. I could remember very well, I was earning 273 pesos per week then. Of course, the pay also went up every summer. But the pay was not the most important for me at that time. It helped tidy up the family expenses, but the most important for me was the work. I was so proud of it, because I was working for people whose names are always appearing in newspapers and magazines. I also loved the feeling of being around adult environment. I savored the days when I could see the owner of the company I was working for in her "Do" and " working attire". Or the watching the real employees either working or wandering from table to table to say a word or two to other colleagues. I felt like I was also someone important in that world.

When I turned 18, i started working for a fastfood chain as Management Trainee. That experience was really difficult. I lasted three months in that job and then I moved on to work at a Governement Corporation for more than five years. At this time, I was combining work, studies and night life. But I enjoyed it. That part of my life was really great. It was not so much as just fun but I felt like I achieved something. But then again, that's for another blog entry.

Posted by missP at 10:55 AM

April 23, 2004

Insomnia

Gosssh!!! I was so tired yesterday from work that I thought I would not be able to drive back home anymore. One of the hazards of having a car is the drive back home after a very tiring day. If I could choose, I would rather commute than drive. But the train connection to my place is terrible. I don't really mind driving, in fact I love to drive, just not when I am so tired and sleepy.
Anyway, as I was driving home last night, I said already to myself that I would not open the computer anymore and just go directly to bed. Helllllloooo!!! It is already 2:10 a.m. and I still cannot sleep. I tossed and turned for sometime in bed. Eventually, I just gave up.

So, i am back in front of my ever loyal companion, my laptop. Of course, I ended up playing around with the templates. This is not final yet. I will definitely change it again. As long as there are "sleepless nights" for me (like last night), the templates will also not sleep, ha!ha!ha!

Posted by missP at 02:18 AM

April 02, 2004

Things I DON'T LIKE about myself

I have often thought of writing down things about myself, but somehow I feel this is already so un-original (meron ba nu'n?), kaya naisip ko, why not make a list of the qualities that I don't like about ME?

Here goes:

. . . I am a big time procrastinator
. . . I am impulsive
. . . I am impatient
. . . I cannot say NO
. . . I fear my own courage (to quote my hubby!)
. . . I talk to myself
. . . I talk a lot of non-sense (which is obvious in my blogs)
. . . I'm a junk food addict
. . . I dont drink milk

. . . I cannot quit smoking
. . . I speak before I think
. . . I am tactless sometimes
. . . I worry too much about what people would think of me
. . . I often forget my appointments (my hubby even gave me a Palm, which I forget to use anyway)
. . . I don't take my medicine prescriptions religiously
. . . I'm fat
. . . I overestimate myself
. . . I'm a terrible cook
. . . I'm a lousy roommate
. . . I am fickle-minded
. . . I'm a horrible worrier
. . . I don't like arguments
. . . I'm a terrible writer (!!!), hence this blog to practise with.
. . . I don't like saying Goodbyes
. . . I don't like my eyes
. . . I

Posted by missP at 05:24 AM

March 17, 2004

Advice my Dear Sis!

My Sister wrote to me once in a birthday greeting this saying:

STAY AWAY FROM PEOPLE WHO DON'T DESERVE TO BE YOUR FRIENDS, I LOVE YOU! My question now is HOW?


I have often become a victim of an abusive person. Yes, I am quite aware of this. But this doesn't mean, I have a problem psychologically. NO! I don't look for this type of people, i certainly don't crave for the feeling of being the victim. My problem is that I trust people easily. I also don't believe in helping only half-way. When I extend my arms to help somebody, expect to recieve the whole body. Ganito ako maki-damay sa kapwa. Kaya naman madalas, people take advantage of me.
The reason why i blog about this is for me to help myself to get away from this abusive people. The "JERKS!" most especially. Just a few weeks back, I tried to help a friend. I call her a "friend" because, I have known her for two years now, and I actually thought that she is really a "friend" to me. She has so often enough said so herself, that there were people in her life before whom she called friends, but somehow they have all gone their separate ways. There's the first clue about her personlaity. But I hoped that I could help her, by showing her how to really become a "FRIEND" to someone. She went through a lot the last two years. and I was there all the time that she needed me. I helped in every possible way I could. Gave all my very best, I can say. But all for nought!

When I got accepted at a job vacancy, the minute there was another position open, I told her to apply as well. That really helped her financially. Then she went on vacation just about the time when there was a better position available, so I sent in an application for her, asked the manager if they would still give her a chance... and got them to promise that they will interview her the earliest possible chance available. They did, and she got hired. Then the manager called me and asked me why I did not apply for the job. I had my reasons, but he told me anyway to still submit an application. So I told my dear friend of what happened. The first reaction I got: "The exam is very difficult. They have another position open, one that I don't like. You can go and apply for that position instead." Isnt SHE A BIG JERK?! Bigtime. I need help on tips how to stay away from this person from now on. Please help.

Posted by missP at 04:34 PM

March 15, 2004

Urinary Tract Problem

Bookmarklets | mBlog

I have always had problems whenever nature is calling...

Everytime I have to go somewhere, especially if it's going to be a long trip, I have to make sure of one thing: That I will not have problems whenever Nature calls.

May Urinary Tract Infection ako, pag nag hold back ng water, uma-atake. Masakit! IN short, hindi pwedeng mag pigil ng ihi.

Well, suffice it to say, ako ang nagi-ging kill joy sa lakad naming mag asawa. Because if I have to go, I really have to go. Problem is, hindi ako basta-basta maka ihi sa ibang lugar. May times nga, kararating lang namin, we would leave na rin agad, pag na-iihi na ako. Most of the time, I feel so bad about it. My hubby cannot even begin to enjoy the outings. So, sometimes, I try to hold it back. Pero, as I have mentioned, hindi nga puwedeng madalas.


One time, I remember nasa Singapore kami noon. We wanted to have dinner sa Quay.....something on our first night. The dinner naman went okay, medyo super busog kami pareho, cause the food was really great. The place was oozing with people. Ang saya-saya!Tapos, eto na, biglang I have to let go of some of the drinks. Hanap ako place to go, kaya lang, sa dami ng tao, medyo messy na yung restroom ng mga restaurants. Eh, medyo malayo pa yung hotel namin. Wala naman kaming makuhang taxi. Peak season yata nung time na iyun, o talagang minalas lang ako. We had one option left, to take the bus. The problem was hindi namin alam kung aling bus ang dadaan sa hotel namin. But I saw already earlier that day, na may mga bus na dumadaan doon. Eh di, sakay kami ng bus, sabi nung driver two stops lang baba na dapat kami. Funny thing was, isnag beses lang huminto ang bus. The secon time it stopped, sa end terminal na nila. Hindi ko tuloy malaman kung mai-inis ako, magagalit o matawa. We ended up taking a taxi ride back to the hotel. At least, may mga na para na kami. dahil medyo wala nang mga tao doon sa lugar na napadparan namin. residential area na. medyo nag hintay din kami for some minutes dahil nga wala naman masyadong tao ant sasakyan na dumadaan dun, pero in the end, naka uwi din kami. Ang pinaka mabigat, pag dating namin ulit sa hotel, nawala na yung urge kong umihi. Sa sobrang tagal, tension at alala, nag disappear na lang basta ang dapat yata eh, sampung litrong cola na naubos ko the whole day at dapat eh, mai dispose ko na. Which was the reason why we wanted to go back to the hotel in the first place.

Posted by missP at 12:21 AM

February 25, 2004

Last Lap of my Journey...

Before i came to Belgium, I was almost on the verge of completely ruining my life. Had my aunt not given me the chance to leave the country, I would never have escaped the destiny that I got myself into. But then again, with my own courage and with the Will of the Lord, I made it. I escaped a life that was not only terrible, it was a lot more like Hell. I left everything that I had built up there in the Philippines to escape from a fate that was more than bearable to live.

Well, I didn't really completely ran away from my problems. I just needed time and means to resolve the situation that I got myself into. Once, I was presented the chance to start all over again, I just grabbed it like lighting! Suffice it to say, I went back to the Philippines two years after I left to make everything right again. I left some loose ends there hanging, so when I had the chance, I went there first and foremost to fix the situation.

Now, I am living a happy and peaceful life. Quite content with what I have, and definitely quite sure of where I would go next. Thanks to the Lord's persevering guidance and Love, I am reborn with a new hope in Life.

Posted by missP at 06:13 AM

February 11, 2004

Looking Back 2. . .

A few weeks after we got married, he suddenly changed his mind. He would
ask me to come over to their house and he would not let me go home for
days at first. Then it became weeks. At one time, we had a very huge
fight because my father was already wondering what has happened to me,
but my "ex" would not let me go back home. He then demanded from me to
do my "respected duty" as his wife. To be where he was supposed to be. I
did manage to convince him in the end that I just wanted to go and visit
my family. He relented, but only if he came along. That was fine. When
we got to my parents place, he had his fits again that ended again in a
violent argument. I never went back to his place that day, nor the
following day. I stayed with my family for the whole week and I managed
to get the chance to tell my mother about the whole situation.

My mom then, would not listen to what I was trying to tell her. She just
said she didn't want to look at any paper when I started to show her the
marriage certificate. She disregarded me by saying she didn't understand
what I was talking about. I can't blame her for that. She probably
thought, at that time, that it was a very big mistake that I made, but
didn't know what to do about it.

Two weeks later, my "hubby's" family, after several efforts of trying to
call me and talk to me, trying to convince me to come back to their
place, finally came over to our house. No, it was not the long-overdue
"pama-manhikan" tradition. Just the normal thing that parents would do
if the kids cannot settle their own problems anymore. To "interfere" in
other words. They also told my parents that they were aware of the
"supposed" marriage, but thought anyway, that "we were still not mature
enough to live with the wrong decision that we made". In the end, they
set a schedule for a luncheon meeting at a hotel somewhere in Quezon
City to sort of formalize the "pam-manhikan" blues.

They talked about a "garden wedding". Where and when, I couldn't say
anything. Neither my "ex-hubby" nor I didn't say anything during that
three hour meeting. I felt like I was in a big pot boiling over a very
big fire. I didn't even ask how he felt at that time. The meeting ended
with an agreement that I would be staying over at the house of my "ex".
We would then start our own business that my "mother-in-law" was willing
to give us the required capital.

The business went well. I managed it, while my "ex" posted as more like
"driver". For two months, our life was like that of a normal happy
family. At the end of the day, after all the expense reports and
accounting made, my "ex" and I would either go to watch or a movie or
just stay at home with his sister. Sometimes, we would go over to visit
my family or his relatives who lived at the same area where my parents
lived. Every now and then, his mother would invite us to watch concerts
or previews, depends on what was available. Or we would even go shopping
together. The whole thing was a show.

Then one night I couldn't find my "ex" in our flat. I was wondering
where he was, so I went out to check if his car was at the garage. I
thought, maybe he went out to get some cigarettes at a 7-Eleven store
somewhere. Much to my surprise, I found him in the garage, sniffing
something. The first reaction I got was fear. I froze right there, in
the middle of the night, outside the house. I realized he was sniffing
"shabu" which at that time was the rampant rage among sniffers. I could
tell from the foil on his hand. I am not naive. Thanks to my teacher in
college, I was already aware of all these paraphernalia's in our
environmental studies. We did exposure outreach in the "smokey mountain"
where we saw almost every young teenager addicted to this chemical.

I went back to our flat that night, without any feeling at all. I was
just shocked and numbed. I never told him that I saw him that night. But
afterwards, I could then explain his bouts of "fever" and "shivering"
for no apparent reason. I was so stupid not to have noticed it before.
I thought that he was just tired and overfatigued, hence the sickness.
Little did I know that he was into drugs.

For three months more, I lived with him and his family, but slowly
loosing respect and the "love" that I felt for him. It became more like
pity. I thought, as long as I was around, I could help him forget about
using the said chemical, at least. Boy! Was I wrong about that.


. . . to be continued...

Posted by missP at 03:28 AM

February 05, 2004

Looking Back . . .

A brief glance at the not so distant past!

Shortly before I came to Europe, I was involved with a guy almost the
same age as me. During this time, I was also preparing my papers to go
to Belgium. I married that guy without my family's blessings, thinking
that I would be living with him for the rest of my life. Thinking I was
so "in-love" with him that I could not live without him anymore. He on
the other hand, said he didn't want to let go of me. That he could not
live anymore without me. So, we decided to get married before I would
leave for Belgium.

The marriage was a very simple ceremony at the Quezon City Hall. The
sponsors were my bestfriend from high school and his buddy, who happened
to be the boyfriend of my bestfriend. Before we got married, we promised
to each other that we would not tell our parents/family about it, since
at that time I was in between jobs (just passing time until my Visa
application for Belgium came through) and he was totally jobless. We
said we would live with our respective family as long as we were not
stable enough to get our own place to live in. I believed him and
trusted him to keep his side of the promise. I was wrong. The whole
thing was actually wrong.

...to be continued

Posted by missP at 01:55 AM