… just like a rose… pretty but thorny! Your friendship is beautiful but it pricks here and there until my life is stung… not from a bee but from your prickly personality!!!
I chanced upon someone online tonight. It was really a surprise, since I have not heard from that someone for a long, long time. As I was doing some harmless (except to my CC!!) online shopping – I stumbled into a post by that person. The individual posted a comment about the place where I was shopping. I noticed the name and thought it sounded familiar. Okay, I give in, of course it a just a pen-name, that person’s blogger name. It made a click in my mind anyway, so I decided to take a break from online shopping. I went to look/see and drop in to the blog-sites that I used to follow. I have a list of other bloggers whom I have encountered in the world wide web way back when I jumped into this bandwagon. Sadly enough, many have gone or have left their blogs unattended, just like mine.
I guess those bloggers have moved on. They have moved on or shifted to an easier, media platform where one doesn’t have to take care of the whole layout, cleaning spams, and maintaining the homepage regularly. I must say, I, myself did succumb to it as well. I also joined the craze of other social media platforms where one can write and or share comments with everybody else. Open and easy to post or write whatever is on anybody’s mind.
In the beginning I was also fascinated. I was so ecstatic to have met people again whom I have not seen or communicated with for a very long time! The thrill of getting to know them again became a drug. I got hooked and started looking for more. The curious in me started working overtime. I was so excited to find out what has happened to whom, etc. Until the time that it became so loud and chaotic online as well. Intrigues and bad intentions slowly crawled in the renewed “friendships”.
Miscommunication and/or misinterpretations if intentional or otherwise became rampant. Somehow, I slowly realized why I lost contact with them in the first place.
Then I asked myself: Was it really a case of: I lost contact or was the cut-off intended because of one or more reasons. There must have been a reason why I lost track of my “old cherished friends” before.
I am not just talking about the usual reasons, like: we have moved house/city, changed schools, went to the province, moved abroad or moved up in life. No, somewhere along the way, something must have happened. Either grave or trivial, criminal or lackadaisical-the cut off must have been well intended.
Clearly, it was not difficult to cut ties in the old days. We didn’t have the luxury of the social media or search engines then. If one wanted to cut connection with another, the only medium was to stop personal meetings, telephone calls and or does not write via the old medium—the snail mail!
And after so many years, like everything else, whatever that reason was then, the human and emotional/psychological aspect played a higher ace and everything else was forgotten. One moved on, got so engrossed in the highs and lows of life, bigger success or deeper failures made us so engrossed in the current trial that we are experiencing making us forget what happened before. The heartache, the failure, the stab in the back, the malice-all forgotten. What is important is the present, the now, the current challenges and success.
Then, it happened. It started with a simple: Hi.
Just like that. This two letter word. So ignorant, so clean. so simple. It is a stealth. A bomb ticking to explode on a given time. If stepped on or when the pin is ticked off. Why would somebody want to step on it? It baffles me still. Because, it may be hard to understand, but there are people who thrive on it. They intentionally approach or even take an extra mile to look for that certain person, befriend, earn their trust, pretend to care, extend help and or just be someone whom one can rely on… and then boom!
Perhaps, because of the thrill? The adrenaline? The excitement?
Maybe it is really with criminal intent?
Or maybe, it is a sickness – psychological or simply a mind game which one gets the adrenaline rush from. Worst case is, it’s out of boredom in life.
Whatever the reason may be. Whatever may have caused a tragedy or a happy end to glee!
It is still a drug that one can get hooked into. And it is known that if one gets hooked – life becomes a cycle. The rotation never ends. The story would just go on and on and on. There is never an end but only a sweet but vicious circle of hope and disappointment and maybe even death.
Most human being need this drug… Heck! Every human being needs a certain kind of drug.
Question is: which one are you? Do you need the drug? Or are you a victim to the drug?
**(Footnote)** To somebody, what you are looking for is not in this entry. 😉