TwEeThUmBsUp

My own share of "jerkiness"

In my high school days, I had to change schools two times. It was not because I was a bad student, it was simply due to the fact that we always had to move to a new place every two years. I couldn't understand how my parents would only get two year contracts for an appartment. I guess they thought at that time, it would be better for us to go back to the province.

Anyway, I am straying...going back to the school, It was my second year in high school. I just moved into this school. Since I enrolled late, I could only go to a lower section. For the first weeks, I would not go to school because I couldn't accept the fact that I did not belong to the "cream of the Crop" group. Nope, meeting a boy one day, did not even convince me to go school. I thought it would be reason enough for me to play around in that class but I underestimated myself. I simply didn't have the motivation or the lust to go to. Eventually though, my mom tricked me into going. I don't know how she did it, but she did. I went with mixed emotions. I remembered my mom telling me that if I do good for the first quarter, then I would automatically join the cream of the crop section. At the same time, I was thinking to myself, how can this happen? Why should I trust her? In short, my stubbornness is slowly seeping through.

The first week, I was like a zombie in that class. But i learned my very first lessons of humbleness in there. I was so aloof because I thought too much of myself, that I didn't even want to mingle with my classmates. I always told myself that I was only there temporarily. The same story I told my classmates when I was introduced to them. That was a mistake. My advisor slapped me straight to my face that I turned 380 degrees from being such a "jerk". Yes! Women can be jerks! I never said the same thing again to my classmates. From then on, I just said, I enrolled late so I didn't get a place in the first section. Come to think of it, I didn't have to tell them this because for them to be in that section was already reward enough. (But somehow, blame it to my immaturity and naivity, the old habbit would still come out every now and then). They worked hard to be there and they got there. I didn't realize I was hurting their feelings each time I tried to condemn my life for being in that section.

I am happy to be so when I was still younger, now I do know how to deal with other people in their certain level. No, I refuse to stoop down to the level of immaturity, if they are immature; but I would also not "make a fire out of a smoke" with them.

One thing I am quite sure of, I know myself, my talents, my capabilities. I am aware where I came from, I am sure where I should go next. I am not in doubt as to what will be. I just have to be strong enough to face every obstacle that comes my way. I don't look down on others, instead, I accept each person I meet as he/she is.

If for example, there is something that I find disturbing in a person, I always let him/her know about it. Not that it gets to become an issue later. I tell it directly to the person concerned and not resort to sidecommenting or back biting. Thank goodness, so far, this has not happened yet. I dread the day when I would meet somebody who would try my strength and would make me do things that I would regret doing afterwards.